he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Ladies don't puke and tell
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize