Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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