i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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