we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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