You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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