Where are you?
In a non slutty way
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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