I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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