I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
pop tarts are not kleenex
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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