apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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