Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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