Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize