Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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