is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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