I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize