dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize