dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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