you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize