marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize