He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize