apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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