Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize