ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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