apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize