Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize