O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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