And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize