Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
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he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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