I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize