a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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