Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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