i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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