I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Do vagina's smell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize