i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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