Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I will pee on everything he values.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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