Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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