Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize