dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
We named our party play list daddy issues
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize