im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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