just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
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So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
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Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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