dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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