I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
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Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
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Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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