the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
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WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
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at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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