Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize