Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize