sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize