Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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