After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize