Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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