your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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