i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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