I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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