yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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