When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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